Several iniduals have asked me,
“When is enough, enough?”
Well, that’s a moving target. The bottom line is, when you say it is.
Which is different from when you want to quit, or when you are “done.”
I have questioned this for myself. When am I done? When I am tired? When I no longer feel like it? When I am satisfied?
Or when I am ready to face the next mountain? The next goal?
I never thought I would ever be under 220 lbs. Then I was excited to go for 215, 210, and OMG! 200! Could I really break that barrier?
I couldn’t wait to go into Victoria’s Secret, or Chico’s. I was so excited to get into a size 16 (from a 4X). And then a 14 ….
The real question to be asked is not, “When is enough, enough,” but rather, “When am I ok with who I am?”
There are basically 5 different inherited mantra’s that we all have – and if you have one that I don’t mention here, it’s probably one special to you. But in having worked with thousands of iniduals from all walks of life from all over the world, the key themes tend to be:
1. I’m not enough. Or, I’m not GOOD enough.
2. I’m not worthy.
3. I can’t get it “right.” (Or, “when am I ever gonna get it right?”)
4. I ‘m too short, fat, tall, skinny, dumb, etc.
5. I don’t have what it takes.
Everyone goes into weight-loss surgery with an ideal of what they want to achieve, to look like. And that translates into a belief that, if I achieve “X” I’ll now get to experience or BE “Y.”
While there is certainly a lot of benefit, value and self-esteem that we gain as we transform our bodies, it is the transformation of our inner thinking that there is to focus on. Our internal thought processes, and un-examined, self-limiting beliefs.
“When is enough enough” really does translate into “Am I happy with my Self?”
We go through many mountains and valleys in our weight-loss journey to transform our inner thinking.
For example, as I look back many, many years of my life, (I am now 63,) I used to “believe” that I should be happy with what I have, and be glad that I have anything at all (In terms of dating, romance, intimacy, etc.). I viewed myself as fat, and therefore, undesirable. And believed that I could not go after the type of man/men that I wanted. And that very viewpoint pre-selected for me the pool of candidates that I believed I could “get.”
Looking back on that, I am really lucky that I landed the Prince Charming that I did. And yes, my weight became a central theme of discord in our marriage for 38 years. We really were the couple described in the child’s story of “Jack Sprat could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean.”
After the decades-old battle with my body, and having leaned out 120 lbs., there was also a period of time where I continued to fight the war of myself. I had a fundamental belief (from decades of gathered evidence,) that something about me was broken. This started with a 5-year old experience where my father was complimenting me on my back-to-school dress; His comment that haunted me the rest of my life. “ You are such a beautiful Princess, but you’ll have to be careful or you’ll be fat like your Aunt Vina.”
All of a sudden, who I was definitely was broken. I KNEW how everyone talked about Aunt Vina! And if I was going to grow up like her, I had a “sentence” that now hung over my head. “I couldn’t be ME! Because I could NOT let myself BE like Aunt Vina!”
Losing weight was not just a physical transformation for me. It also required a personal transformation.
I AM ME. AND WHO I AM IS ENOUGH! For myself, for others, for any man! As a matter of fact, who I am MIGHT WELL be TOO MUCH!
When will you have lost enough weight? When you can look at your self in the mirror, examine your heart, and get in the depths of your soul?
Who I Am Is GREAT! Inside and OUT!
What mountains and valleys are you experiencing on your own weight loss journey? What is your inner voice telling you about yourself, about your life, and about what’s possible for you? Call me for a FREE consultation! Lets look at some new viewpoints and alternate approaches to empowering your inner you!
Remember, YOU are Magnificent, and YOU and Infinite! Be responsible for THAT!
With great love,